Commitment.

Lately, I have been reflecting on what commitment means to me. Commitment to people, to jobs, to choices made, and commitment to myself. In my initial reflection, I found resistance, anger, pain, sadness, and restriction. Everything about the word commitment made me cringe. It felt like a trap. That I would be limiting my options and closing myself off to opportunity. I didn’t want to miss anything. I understand now this was only the surface layer of beginning to understanding what all this was really about.

I realized I was playing a story of what commitment meant to me, based on my past experience and perspective. The experiences of hurt, pain, sadness, and grief were all connected to the story. Whenever commitment would arise in my life, whether it be a job, a 1 year lease on an apartment or commitment to a romantic partner (that I so deeply love), I would unconsciously sabotage it. Even though, it was what I wanted to commit to. But in those moments, with my relationship to commitment being fear, pain and heartache, it appeared as the 'wrong’ choice. I was seeing what I wanted to commit to, through a lens that tainted my vision.

When I woke up from this unconscious story I was living, I wrote my own story of what I wanted commitment to be for me. Commitment to be based in love, joy, creation, and community. To relate to commitment as endless possibilities, magic, and the unthinkable. That in my commitments, I surround myself with those I deeply love, that I show up fully in every moment wide awake, and that I create a life which reflects my values and that is of service. In this I started to be committed in a way that brought freedom. Freedom to choose other than though the lens of fear and the clouded vision, and to instead choose a life that is deeply and fully, awake and alive.

xx

Transformation.

The only constant in life is change. Chances are you have heard the phrase before. It may sound cliche but the truth of it runs deep. The twists and turns of life, the seemingly unpredictable events we experience. There is a mystery to each of our lives as we discover more about ourselves, each other, and the world around. It is the continuous journey of transformation.

When the constant of life is change, how are we to be balanced in it all? To be balanced amongst transformation and change, we embrace our present selves. To know, that we are whole and a masterpiece as we are AND in who we are becoming. In holding this in balance, we can celebrate who we are today, while knowing there is always more we are to become.

Unconditional love.

What does unconditional love mean to you?

For me, unconditional love is seeing the whole of someone. Every part of them. The joy, happiness, laughter; the tears, anger and sadness; the choices that bring us to life and those choices that we are hurt by; experiences shared that are blissful and those that are challenging. Seeing. It. All. And, still, choosing to love.

What does loving someone look like?

Loving someone, in my experience and I am sure in yours too, can look many many many different ways. One of the most challenging though, when unconditionally loving another, is to let them go. It has been such a challenging lesson to learn the ways of unconditionally loving someone, through what appears to be disconnection. And here. Right here in that moment of the illusion of disconnection, we can always sink deeper to connection within ourselves, and also, into a deeper love for the other person.

To love. To love so deeply regardless of the outcome, we always have the choice to come to more love, wisdom, illumination and insight. This a gift to truly treasure.

In each of our lives, there will always come a time where we say goodbye to someone we love. Whether that be by choice, by death, or by circumstance, we will all experience this. Once we move through the heartache, the grieving, the pain, we will all come to know more LOVE if we choose to.

To all those I have said goodbye to, I love you, dearly.

You are enough.

The inner critic. We are all familiar this part of ourselves that seems to speak without permission. It brings us into the shadows, revealing those parts that are hard to be with. In my experience, there can be two ways to relate to the inner critic. One: let it beat me up and wallow in a puddle of “I must be a horrible person”. Two: deeply listen to the inner critic, knowing it is illuminating areas of growth through the words of criticism it speaks.

Recently, my inner critic became loud and clear in an area of my life that was lacking in awareness. I found myself, once again in a familiar old cycle of people coming and going whenever they felt like it and showing up or not. At first I was angry at myself. How could I let this happen again? How could I let myself step in the trap of people leaving in times that are challenging? And! Let it affect me so deeply. Especially since it has been something I have been working so hard on. As I sat in the discomfort of it all, and my eyes opened to trusting that this inner critic had something of value to say. It was shining the spotlight to illuminate a new way to be in. The spotlight fully lit up that part of myself to see that I am enough, and to fully believe that I am enough. Not when this happens or when I do this thing. Right now. As I am. I am enough. Regardless of who chooses to be in my life or not.

Taking a deep breath into fully surrendering into “I am enough”, the inner critic silenced. In this moment, I knew the gift the inner critic had brought into my life. The gift of seeing that I was making choices from a place of “not being enough” until I become/accomplished A, B, C, etc. This, gave me the choice to now come from a place of “I am enough” and to be empowered to make choices from here instead.

There are times to deeply listen to our inner critics, and to come into healthy relationship with it. Knowing it has a place and a time when in healthy balance, illuminating the beauty behind the criticism.

What is coaching, and is it for me?

You may be wondering what this coaching thing is all about. I know I was when I first came across coaching.

Coaching by definition is a co-created, collaborative relationship between coachee and coach. It is a relationship where illumination, growth, change, support, accountability and creation are intertwined in conversation, to nourish the coachee into having their dreams, goals, and visions come into fruition.

And what does this look like? That is as variant as there are people in this world. Each relationship is built in the needs of the coachee and what the coachee is wanting to create, change, and grow into. Every person or group of people who come into relationship with a coach, will have different areas they bring into conversation. The coaching relationship is a continuous creation and evolvement with every session.

What will being in a coaching relationship bring you? Anything you want. This is all about what you want to bring into the world, what you want to express and how you want to express it. The intention is to have the coaching be a place of illumination of that which is keeping you from what you desire, of nourishment to go after what you dream of, and of support in what you are creating.

I believe every person is whole as they are. And that each person is innately gifted to be naturally creative, resourceful and capable in their life, in their own unique way. It is from here the coaching relationship is held, to shine the spotlight into all the wisdom you already carry. It is a place where space is created for you to see your greatness, discover more of yourself, and to express that out into the world in however you desire.

To make the impossible, possible.

You may be wondering, how? How do I make the impossible, possible?

It starts within. Within yourself to bring awareness to your current state keeping you in your present cycle. The cycle of jobs, relationships, and other experiences. These cycles continue to repeat themselves, unless interrupted by a shift of awareness, a shift of being, and a shift of choices and actions made. If we choose to only shift the actions and choices, these will be temporary changes in our lives with our old habits returning once again. To make these shifts and changes permanent, is to go within and look at our perceptions, interpretations, ways of being, of thinking, and of choosing. Allowing these old ways to breakdown, allows us to shift into and create a new way for ourselves. This permanently shifting our experiences and cycles, and making the impossible, possible. Coming from this newly created space within, we see it ripple into our external.